LAUGH! LAUGH!! LAUGH!!!
I'm in the hospital right now... My nephew swallowed 512gb SD memory card and he is singing all the songs in it one after the other. We are praying and hoping it doesn't reach the video folder. Yocliqers, please if he eventually reach the video folder what did you think will happen?

...

LAUGH! LAUGH!! LAUGH!!!
I'm in the hospital right now... My nephew swallowed 512gb SD memory card and he is singing all the songs in it one after the other. We are praying and hoping it doesn't reach the video folder. Yocliqers, please if he eventually reach the video folder what did you think will happen?

"one man poison is another one man food' using your authority to de-active someone content which means u didn't like it u only! NOTE that position is not yours you borrow it* u wil soon leave the position, Sit owner doesn't behave that way,, Good morning Y'ALL

DON'T LIE
When did you realised that the word POLICE stands for "PUBLIC OFFICER for LEGAL INVESTIGATION and CRIMINAL EMERGENCIES"?

@sherizo, @tynash, @josh, @uniquegee, @valli9, @abigail, @tolani, @masterkraft, @csi, @karani, @horlar, @samyjis, @everyone...@yocliq

"Be the best today doesn't mean you are the best of all the time,,

Brain challenge

Lol....

It have being 5years now that have been rearing male & female cat which i named them "Roghed" & "Twilight"
I always look them forward anytime. They has born many kittens for me and resale. So I always shadow everywhere, everycorner to see how they mate before impregnanted. Guys, I have never found them mating at anywhere! Please are they mother of jesus?

GAME PLAYING:
#Brain_Teasing
#Memory_call_back.
18 years ago, Who is the president of your country?
Me: lagbaja!
What of yours?

Good Morning YoCliqers!!
It has happened again¿
I was sitted outside playing music on a loud speaker, Though the music sound is getting me feling sleepy.
Suddenly I heard a low footsteps...I rise up to see whats going on.
"Whats happening here? Questioned myself.
Nobody can believe this that the thing i saw was incredible!
Oh, thee take one leg up, thee put one leg down, thee take another leg up, dee put one leg again.
I swear, It was a dog dancing to my music playing!!

The Nigerian Police has nabbed the leader of a ‘One Chance’ robbery gang in Abuja who physically attacked a pregnant woman, causing her to lose her pregnancy.

The Force Public Relations Officer, Olumuyiwa Adejobi, made this known on his social media account on Sunday.

The one chance robbery gang leader was not named in the statement but a picture believed to be his image was attached.

Adejobi wrote, “This is a ring leader of one chance robbery gang in Abuja.

“He used this wheel spanner to beat a pregnant woman (one chance victim) until she had a miscarriage.

“The woman had been waiting for a child for more than eight years.

“This is wickedness. Anyway, he’s having a trial in the court and has been arrested for the same offence again.”

The Akwa Ibom State Police Command has arrested one Inyangake James Peter, 40, for killing his 70-year-old mother, Mma-Offiong James Peter in Etim Ekpo Local Government Area of the state.

Spokesperson of the command, CPS Odiko Macdon, who made this known in a statement on Monday, April 15, 2024, said cases of some family members killing their biological relations has been of great concern to the Command.

According to Macdon, the suspect claimed that a voice told him to kill his mother and he obeyed.

“The Akwa Ibom State Police Command has arrested one Inyangake James Peter, 40 years old for gruesomely murdering his biological mother, one Mma-Offiong James Peter, about 70 years old on 4/4/2024 at about 9:00am at Ikpe Annang Village in Etim Ekpo LGA,” the statement read.

"The suspect who confessed to the crime has been transferred to the State CID for discrete investigation.

"The suspect on interrogation alleged that he had a voice saying " kill her", " kill her “ and he decided to oblige.

"Suspect will be charged to court at the completion of investigation.

The Premium Breadmakers Association of Nigeria, PBAN, has disclosed the causes of rising prices of loaves of bread as the common staple food in the country.

PBAN said the volatility in the exchange rate has affected the prices of bread in Nigeria, adding that most of the materials in producing it are imported.

PBAN President, Emmanuel Onuorah, made this known while appearing as a guest on Arise News’ Global Business Report on Tuesday.

He added that the ongoing war between Ukraine and Russia has impacted negatively on the production of bread, as both warring European neighbours are wheat suppliers to Nigeria.

“Bread is a staple. Bread is supposed to be a pick-and-grab food at any location. It’s on the table for the children,” Onuorah said.

“Bread is a spiritual product, outside of being physical because it does so much for humanity. As bakers, for us in Nigeria, it’s been tough for us.

“Some of the basic materials we use in producing our bread are imported into Nigeria, that is about almost 98 per cent and that’s the truth.”

“In a country, where you almost don’t have a strong productive base, and at that, everything is dependent on the dollar. When there is volatility in dollar-naira exchange, when (there is) FX issue where naira begins to go down against the dollar, we are in a problem,” he said.

Late last year, following the removal of fuel subsidy and other economic reforms by President Bola Tinubu, the country began to experience an increase in the prices of food and other commodities

Consequently, in December 2023, Onuorah said prices would increase by 15 per cent to 20 per cent in January 2024 across Nigeria amid economic hardship, and checks by Vanguard showed that loaves of bread in Lagos from N400 have increased to N700, N700 before now sold at N1,100, while N1,100 rose to N1,1400.


Kogi Bread Levy: Permanent secretary faces dismissal
Speaking further about the significance of bread prices to Nigerians, on Tuesday, Onuorah said, “The kind of bread we eat in Nigeria, there is a way Nigerians want their bread, the structure of the bread.


“You know we’re are the highest consumers of white bread globally. When you go to other places, they take croissants, they take baguettes, and other forms of bread.

“But, our bread (in Nigeria) comes in certain shapes. It must be sweet, it must be soft, and succulent. If you don’t produce it that way, you’re out of business.”

“And this whole thing, 60 to 65 per cent of the whole thing comes from wheat, and most of our wheat comes from Ukraine, Russia, and other parts of the world,” he added.

The Port Harcourt Zonal Command of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) has apprehended a suspected internet fraudster, Ali Desmond Chinedum, in Port Harcourt, Rivers State.

Chinedum's arrest comes on the heels of compelling intelligence pointing to his alleged involvement in internet-related offenses.

During the operation, the EFCC operatives recovered several items from Chinedum, including:

* One iPhone 11 Pro Max
* One Redmi 12 Android mobile device
* Two United States Navy identity cards with numbers: 100040041245 and 100010041159
* One Mercedes Benz GLK
* One HP laptop computer device
* Charms

The EFCC has stated that Chinedum will face charges in court once investigations are concluded.

A feud between an illegal oil bunker, Endurance Okodeh alias Amangbein and a sophisticated cartel of powerful illegal oil bunkers led to the killing of 17 soldiers in the Okuama community in Ughelli South LGA of Delta, investigations revealed.

Findings unmasked how the leader of the cartel, ex-militant leader Government Ekpemukpolo alias Tompolo who operates a private security company, in a bid for total control of the creeks of Niger Delta, earlier warned Amangbein, who is an ally of a sitting governor in one of the Niger-Delta States, to stay off illegal oil business, a development the latter saw as oppression.

Amangbein, a known ex-militant, hails from the Igbomotoru community in the Southern Ijaw Local Government Area (LGA) of Bayelsa state. He is also a leading voice against Tompolo and the ex- Nigerian Maritime Administration and Safety Agency, (NIMASA) boss, Patrick Akpobolokemi, in both the creek business and the Okuama/Okoloba land dispute.

Investigations revealed that the military authorities zeroed in on Amangbein in search of the leader of the militant group that killed 17 officers and soldiers of the 181 Battalion of the Nigerian Army that went to Okuama community to free one Anthony Aboh, said to be an ally of Akpobolokemi.

The former NIMASA chief allegedly built a mansion in the disputed land between Okuama and Okoloba communities. The building of the house on the disputed land is said to be the genesis of the debacle that led to the killing of the soldiers.

Amangbein’s mother hailed from Okuama, an Urhobo community in Ughelli South LGA, in Delta state. He is now said to have fled to his paternal community in Bayelsa state, apparently informed of the military’s raid of the Igbomotoru community, which left several residents injured and properties destroyed.

A general and the chief of defence staff, Christopher Musa, had earlier said that the 17 military personnel, including four officers and 13 soldiers, were murdered in relation to illegal bunkering business. But Okuama community insisted that the soldiers stormed the community, accusing them of being in possession of one Anthony Aboh, whose lifeless body has since been recovered floating in Forcado River near Ayakoroma community.

Sources said the lifeless body of Anthony Aboh was recovered floating on River Forcados close to the Ayakoromo community in Delta state. One of the sources in Okoloba said, “We found the lifeless body of Mr. Anthony Aboh floating on River Forcados near Ayakoromo community.”

How the illegal oil cartel works

The illegal oil cartel in the Niger Delta comprises influential Nigerians and foreigners, including top military operators, government officials, highly-placed and retired oil industry players, politicians and business persons, and they are the financiers of oil bunkering syndicates, which over the years have plunged the country’s economy in the abyss of decline.

Their oil bunkering cartel, working with insiders, steals crude directly from major crude oil pipelines in the oil-rich region while officials pump crude to the different terminals. They know the time and duration of pumping and the exact pipelines.

The damage inflicted by small oil bunkers who illegally refine crude oil in the Niger Delta region is child’s play compared to the havoc the almighty cartel that owns giant vessels and equipment wreaks on the nation’s economy

Investigations revealed that the military authorities zeroed in on Amangbein in search of the leader of the militant group that killed 17 officers and soldiers of the 181 Battalion of the Nigerian Army that went to Okuama community to free one Anthony Aboh, said to be an ally of Akpobolokemi.

The former NIMASA chief allegedly built a mansion in the disputed land between Okuama and Okoloba communities. The building of the house on the disputed land is said to be the genesis of the debacle that led to the killing of the soldiers.

Amangbein’s mother hailed from Okuama, an Urhobo community in Ughelli South LGA, in Delta state. He is now said to have fled to his paternal community in Bayelsa state, apparently informed of the military’s raid of the Igbomotoru community, which left several residents injured and properties destroyed.

A general and the chief of defence staff, Christopher Musa, had earlier said that the 17 military personnel, including four officers and 13 soldiers, were murdered in relation to illegal bunkering business. But Okuama community insisted that the soldiers stormed the community, accusing them of being in possession of one Anthony Aboh, whose lifeless body has since been recovered floating in Forcado River near Ayakoroma community.

Sources said the lifeless body of Anthony Aboh was recovered floating on River Forcados close to the Ayakoromo community in Delta state. One of the sources in Okoloba said, “We found the lifeless body of Mr. Anthony Aboh floating on River Forcados near Ayakoromo community.”

How the illegal oil cartel works

The illegal oil cartel in the Niger Delta comprises influential Nigerians and foreigners, including top military operators, government officials, highly-placed and retired oil industry players, politicians and business persons, and they are the financiers of oil bunkering syndicates, which over the years have plunged the country’s economy in the abyss of decline.

Their oil bunkering cartel, working with insiders, steals crude directly from major crude oil pipelines in the oil-rich region while officials pump crude to the different terminals. They know the time and duration of pumping and the exact pipelines.

The damage inflicted by small oil bunkers who illegally refine crude oil in the Niger Delta region is child’s play compared to the havoc the almighty cartel that owns giant vessels and equipment wreaks on the nation’s economy

There are local oil mafias who also siphon from major pipelines and later sell their product to the big oil players, who use superior tubes and experts to drain off crude oil.

Every security officer involved in the business is well ‘taken care of’ and so, secrecy is maintained. Security operatives who mount sentry on waterways also collect levies from local oil bunkers, and many want to serve in such lucrative beat. They also make returns to superior officers, an insider told this reporter.

This reporter gathered that even with the militarisation of the waterways and the award of security contracts to Tompolo to secure crude oil, the illegal oil business has continued to blossom in Niger Delta. A development the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) GMD, Mele Kyari ascribed to Nigerian professionals and elites as the brain behind oil theft in the region.

This claim was controverted by Niger Delta elder statesman Edwin Clarke, who fingered the NNPC and the military as the big-time oil thieves.

Crux of the killing

The incident leading to the current crisis is said to have started as unrest in January 2024, following an age-long land dispute between the people of Okoloba and Okuama, leading to a deadly conflict that has brought about loss of lives on both sides. Consequently, the military command unit of the JTF at Bomadi was invited to the scene. It was, however, said that the invitation of the military was at the behest of the ex-NIMASA boss, who had allegedly used his influence to skew the military intervention in favour of his community, Okoloba.

According to Okuama community president-general James Oghoroko, Akpobolokem is an ally of Tompolo, who works closely with the military to secure the creeks. The military’s involvement in the dispute has elicited great suspicion from the people of Okuama, who feel unfairly treated.

Consequently, the attempt by the military personnel to invite the leaders of Okuama was greatly resisted, as it was believed that it was merely an attempt to unduly victimise the people of the community. Until the military authorities can explain the exact nature of the ‘peace mission’ warranting the soldiers’ presence in the community, the street narrative of the military intervention of working under the dictates of Tompolo and Akpobolokem may become attractive and may snowball into a nationwide narrative.

The ICIR also gathered that Akpobolokem, who is being prosecuted by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) for a N754 million fraud, built a white mansion on the disputed land, a development that Amangbein and Okuama community elders challenged. It was gathered that an ally of the ex-NIMASA boss, Anthony Aboh, was taken hostage by Okuama people rising from the house built on the disputed land. Residents said that it was this person’s abduction that the military had come to investigate and, perhaps, effect his release, not any peace mission as claimed by the military authorities.

Who killed the 17 soldiers?

Although no group has claimed responsibility for the attack on the soldiers, according to Army sources, 17 military personnel, including a Commanding Officer, two Majors, one Captain and 12 soldiers were murdered by suspected youths of Okuama community. Insiders confided to The ICIR that the soldiers used a speed boat owned by Tantita security outfit, Tompolo’s private security outfit.

The soldiers: Cpl Yahaya Danbaba; Cpl Kabir Bashir; LCpl Bulus Haruna; LCpl Sole Opeyemi; LCpl Bello Anas; LCpl Hamman Peter; LCpl Ibrahim Abdullahi; Pte Alhaji Isah; Pte Clement Francis; Pte Abubakar Ali; Pte Ibrahim Adamu, and Pte Adamu Ibrahim. Others include, Lt. Col. AH Ali (Commanding Officer, 181 Amphibious Battalion); Major SD Shafa; Major DE Obi; Capt. U Zakari and Sgt. Yahaya Saidu were reportedly lured into the creek opposite Okuama community and were all killed but no one has questioned why trained soldiers were killed and those that conveyed them with speed boat survived. The question begging for an answer is, does Tantita security rent their speed boats? Does it mean that the 181 Amphibious Battalion has no speed boat they use for routine patrol?

Tompolo refuses to speak.
Since there were allegations that the speed boat used by the slain soldiers belonged to Tantita security firm, which Tompolo owns, The reporter went to Oporoza on Saturday, March 30, 2024, to obtain comments from the ex-militant leader but was told that all media activities of the ex-militant leader is being handled by his media consultant, Paul Bebenimibo.

The ICIR contacted Paul Bebenimibo on his known MTN cell phone number but he did not take his calls. Short message service (SMS) and WhatsApp messages were sent to him on March 31 and April 1, 2024, asking him to clarify his boss’ stance on the use of the Tantita speed boat by the soldiers and whether the firm rents out its speed boats and whether Tompolo was in cold war with Amangbein. However, all attempts were unsuccessful, as he did not return calls or respond to the SMS or WhatsApp messages sent to his cell phone.

Who are the oil mafia?
According to a Port Harcourt environment activist, Imabong Cliff, the government has not demonstrated seriousness to fight the oil theft, and “whatever tough measures are said to have been adopted have not put off the cartel.”

An activist with Young Nigerian Rights Organisation based in Asaba, Delta state, Victor Ojei, also criticised government efforts at dealing with the issue of oil theft and illegal bunkering in the Niger Delta.

“The tenacious ascent in oil robbery despite significant interests in securing oil pipelines brings up issues about the adequacy of the public authority’s methodology. It is conceivable that the actions taken to this point by the federal government of Nigeria have not sufficiently tended to the main drivers of the issue or have been inadequate to counter [quote]the refined strategies utilised by the oil criminals.

A knowledgeable source said that the cartel, over the years, successfully sold a decoy, making successive governments believe that oil theft was being carried out by small-time oil bunkers and Niger Delta militants bent on destroying the country’s economy, and so they must be eliminated. The Presidency believed that the big-time oil thieves continued their brisk business with protection from security operatives.

How Tompolo was awarded a surveillance contract
But the real challenge is not the small-time oil thieves, it is the influential cartel that is strongly connected and has continued to operate with impunity despite the security measures in place.

Troops of the Nigerian military attached to Operation Hadin Kai in the Northeast have neutralised more terrorists’ commanders and over 30 members wreaking havocs on innocent citizens in the Lake Chad region of Borno State.

It was learnt that the air component of the operation rained airstrikes on the adversaries following the terrorists’ refusal to surrender their weapon and ammunition to the military after a series of appeal by the authority and community leaders.

No fewer than 50 tough and hardened terrorists’ commanders have been taken out by the military across all the theatres of operations, particularly in the Northwest and Northeast in the last one year.

The military high command last month declared high-profiled terrorists’ commanders including Simon Ekpa, the notorious leader of proscribed Indigenous People of Biafra, wanted over their nefarious activities.

Daily Trust reports that the senior terrorists’ commanders, who were killed during the operation that was carried out on Saturday, included Ali Dawud, Bakura Fallujah and Mallam Ari.

The spokesman of the Nigerian Air Force, Edward Gabkwet, who confirmed this to journalists in Abuja, explained that terrorists’ numerous vehicles, motorcycles and logistical assets were destroyed.

Gabkwet, an Air Vice Marshal, said the air troops executed a precision airstrike on the hideouts of ISWAP terrorists nestled within Kolleram village along the shores of Lake Chad.

According to him, the operation yielded significant success as the Battle Damage Assessment (BDA) post-strike conducted revealed the neutralisation of over 30 terrorists apart from the commanders that were taken out.

“Intelligence gathered after the airstrike further indicated that the aerial bombardment effectively obliterated a key facility within the Kolleram enclave, which served as a hub for the terrorists’ food processing activities, including grinding machines.

“The success of these airstrikes underscores NAF’s commitment to eradicating terrorism and ensuring the safety and security of Nigerian citizens. By neutralising key terrorist figures and destroying their logistical infrastructure, the operation has significantly degraded the capabilities of the ISWAP group in the region.

“These airstrikes complement the ongoing efforts of ground forces in the Lake Chad flank and represent a crucial step forward in the fight against terrorism in Nigeria,” the senior military officer told newsmen.

Self-styled relationship expert, Blessing Okoro, aka Blessing CEO, has claimed that most women cheat in their marriages because of irresponsible spouses.

According to her, it is impossible for a woman who caters for her family not to cheat.

Okoro stated this in the latest episode of her TV show, Moments With Blessing CEO.

She urged men to be financially stable and responsible to avoid infidelity on the part of their spouses.

“As a man, you have to get a job. How would you leave responsibilities for a woman for 9years and you’re expecting her not to sleep around?” she remarked.

DAILY POST reports that the topic of infidelity has dominated the Nigerian social media space, following the recent cases of paternity fraud.

yo follow A.S.A.P 😂
.#by_triddy #masterkraft #yocliqwillbegreat #comedy

Boys dey vex oo

Its happened again!!
That man, who was our neighbour have started his usual behaviours again.
It was monday night part 10pm, I turn on the generator
That our neighbour arrived from the club and start dancing to the sound of my generator.
I questioned myself: "what happen to this man?"
I replied myself: "Oh! He has drunk too much of alcoholic drink, thats what make him dancing to the sound of generator!"
So, i too start mimicking him and feature him in dancing. He start eclaims "Hey, huh, yeh, haa , huh, yeah yeah" to the generator sound. Suddenly i off the generator and say: "Can't you see its night, why are you shouting!"
He asked me: "Who sing the song" (He mean the generator sound)
-I laughed and replied: "Its petrol and cabulator that sing the song!"
He tell me to replay the generator sound as music for him, then i ignored him outside.
Please if i make you laugh a little, then follow me @masterkraft #boysmile.

Service jokes, copied from mah buddy

(1)hmm i lent credit from my mtn sim since 2014 and i refuse to pay back, the mtn agent have been giving me some unneccessary offer's so that if i put card, they will withdraw it, then i refuse to pay the 3k i borrowed, its about a decade now i have been ignoring them, hmm suddenly as we speak now, i got an sms message saying "Dear mumu customer, may thunder fire you there, ah swear we will meet in heaven, if u no pay, which kinda life be this one? Chaii we will track u down, i swear if catch you, your blood go dry" hahahaha yocliqers do u think i should pay back?

If u mistakenly told your brother that u want to use the toilet, who will first reach the toilet?

You Your brother Me

• Total votes: 2 · 19 hrs left

Don't spoil the fun!!!!