"Chuckles" whoa!! Hahahaha childhood memories, three years back on ss1, could nt help it but laugh.. I can't believe I missed all my sec school gee mate's, though we were five comared troublemaker's me, justice,aboubakar, success and Joseph..

And unforgettable memories, sigh.. University life is loading...

New life loading...

New friends loading..

New trouble finding loading..

No uniform life loading..

Serious relationship loading..

Hmmm its tearful we were not going to meet again, due to we were not studying xame course..

Justice wants to study micro biology

Success wants to study MBBS

Aboubakar wants to study nursing

Joseph wants to study computer science

And I wants to study (EEE) electric/electronic engineering.. though wasn't what i want.. kinda change of mind..

Stay tune University pics are loading... "Smirks"

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

A Ceo of a company was worried about his bussiness,a guy have always been threatening him of banding his company of illigacy

The man was furious and always have a sleepless,many rumour came in that ceo is a weed dealer so his company have to be barned for good

many deals and price has been placed for the agent to spear his company, but the agent wasnt willing to accept any bribery of any price

The Ceo gets anxious, and orderd a sharp shooting sniper to take the agent down when he was away.

The sniper get into possition, he called the ceo on his headphone "Sir am in possition ready to shot"

the ceo said "make sure u dont mess this up, give him a one headshot to dead, and if u mess it up, u mess with ur life"

"dont worry sir am a trained pro, but wait they are two target who should i shot?

"okay the one wearing the black suit..h"

without any hasitation the sniperman give him a headshot

the Man continenue" he's my son dont let anything happen to him, now shot the one wearing blue suit"

Read up and laugh out loud

(1) i cant stop laughing after my friend uses his last MB Download Iron man3 marvel studio.. Only to come and see a man named marvel ironing his cloth for 30min in a studio.

(2)yesterday i offend my mum, she starts beating me, then i pretend am dead, ehh she starts crying and regreting why she beat me, omo then she finds out am pretending. Chaii then she continue beating me.. 9ja mum no balance

(3)Hmm person died, you come dey gather cry, person wakes u gon dey run, my village ppl whats ur mission??

(4)if a man smoke is called smoKing. And if a woman smoke is called smoQueen. They will not teach u this at sch Lol

(5)pls guys stop dragging weed if u knew u cant handle it, now my frnd is busy explaining to his parent how he grew up an orphan. imagine

(6)i never know say high dey hight till when i use 3hrs 36min 5sec looking for my phone under bed using my phone torch i was lookin 4

(7)Maths be like A plane treveling north and wind blow am to west calculate the age of the pilot

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

A Man was furious about his daughter not getting married at her age, so one day he asked her to go and bring the person she wants to get married with..

Her father doesnt like blah blah mens, so he always rejects them after they got interviewed, saying they were not good enough for his daughter

One day his daughter brought a guy, saying she want to get married with him.

After a couples of unneccesarry questions, the guy starts to get bored and light his cigarette

The father was shocked

The father: HA!! You're smoking in my house? Monika and you want to get married to this

The guy: oh sorry dad i just feel somehow if i drink alcohol without smoking

The father: yehh!! You drink alcohol since when?

The guy: when i came out from prison

The father: You've been in jail Heh! What the hell did you do?

The guy: i killed someone

The father: You murderd someone. Are u mad? What did he did 2 u?

The guy: he refused to gimme his daughter.

The father: Mr man

The guy: Sir?

"You have my blessings"

Hello guys something tragic happens to me, i was in pains since yesterday,

Please continue reading it, it serious

I usually lost my taste, and sometimes feels dizzy, i vomit yesterday too, my eyes were barely opened my heart beats fast, am weak i couldnt move my body,

I was taking to hospital them booom! The news just makeS me go in tears cuz its unbelievable, i started to feel dizzy, still In pains and i was put on a vantilator and drip in my vien, just then the doctor came in crying,

i was scared of what's happening to me, it really shocked buth me and my parent plus the nurses close to me, then they went backward getting away from me.. I cried to my soul hmmm its so sad when the doctor said am pregnant...!!





And am going to give birth to a month called april 1st


hahahahahah.. LOL April fool, to every yocliqer that read this.. Must have smile. And oooh i forgot thanks for caring.. Like and comment pls


MONTH OF THE FOOLS

$T0R¥°_T!M£^

Two couples were arguing pointing at each other and shouting

The wife: Are you mad? Mr man if u insult me again eeh i go show you pepper. You will see my true colour..

The husband: Who are talking to like this? Am i your mate? This my house dont dare judge

For like an hours the quarelling and aguiment contineus..

The husband gets angry and said

"Look woman i will be with a woman like you so gather all your dirty cloths and..."

Suddenly his wife phone rang So he decided to cut his words for her to pick the call before he chased her away from his house"

After she picks a young male voice was heard saying

"Hey jane its james your brother, its about the money that dad left for us before he dies, so since u are married we decided to give you 5 million, three for your husband and two for you and sending it now bye"

she hanged up the call and said

"okay mr man u are saying?"

He sigh. And said "Honey dont get me wrong, i was about to say gather ur dirty cloths and give me lemme wash them 4 u

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

Akpos and ochuko were drinking palm wine together..

Ochuku said

"Akpos i have a confession to make.. Last week, i slept with your wife am sorry"

Akpos shouted "you slept with my wife?!!

Ochuko: please forgive me

Akpos: what are friend for. i forgive you

The following week ochuko was furious someone harvested all his crops in his farmland.. During their drinking time Akpos confessed that he was the one.
After getting angry
Ochuko said

"Anyway what are friends for? I forgive you"

Two weeks later they were drinking palm wine together then ochuko said

"Akpos i have a confession to make.. I poinsoned your drink bcuz i was angry pls forgive me"

Akpos: whaat!! You poisoned my drink? Are u mad?

"Anyways what are friends for.. I also have a confession to make."

Ochuko said what is it?

Akpos "SMIRKS" And said

"Am sorry i exchanged our drinks please forgive me"

Ochuko fainted!!

hahaha.. I can see u smilling pls like,comment and follow for more funny stories

AM Still: @UniqueGee

Suggestions!! Suggestions!! Suggestions!!

Hello #Everyone and good day to my lovely moderator.. And admin sir @Tynash

This is just a suggestion if it can be done.. Then it will make yocliq very interesting.. I wasnt tryna say it wasnt but if its added then it will be more suitable for users all over the world

1: Voice chat: its gonna be splindid if its added to yocliq chatting experience both for android and java devices...

2:Multiple photo post: as you can see, you cant make a multiple post at xame time.. It has to be added pls to post like 5 pics at xame post which will shows {5+} i know u understand

3: Group chat: i know its coming soon but its just a reminder.

4:Blocking: ppl are busy complening that if u block someone, u will end up blocking ur self

5:Active friends list/friend request: have to be added

6:Smiley/Emogies: on messaging someone u have to express ur feeling with smilies and emogy in the messeges but u cant pls but it for but android and java, i mean in the middle of texting Tnks

#$T0R¥°_T!M£

A Man went to drink beer in a bar.. Then he shouted..

"Bar man give me a bottle of beer and give everyone a bottle of beer here cuz when am driking everyone should drink.

Everyone cheered "BIG BUYER... BIG BUYER.."

Later after a while he shouted again..

"Bar man!! Give me a plate of chicken and chips then give everyone a plate of sausage and chips cuz when am eating everyone must be eating.."

Everyone cheered "Dangote munchende"
they whistled, dance and collect their plates..

After he finish eating he shouted again

"Bar man!!! Give me my bills and give everyone in here there bills cuz when am paying everyone should be paying.."

Everyone including the bar man fainted!!!

hahahaha.. I can see u smilling like, comment and follow for more funny stories

AM Still: @UniqueGee

#ST0R¥°_T!M£^

I met a girl on monday at motor park, after a tittle conversation with her. I wanted to leave and desire to collect her phone number.

After she gave me the number i said to her

ME: Hey babe i didnt catch your name

HER: Okay am dike sandra thelma vera but feel free to call me (DSTV) in short form and you?

ME:(i no fit carry last) Well, am Godwin obinna tochukuwu vicor.. you can call me (GOTV)

And i have friend like..

Felicia ukamaka eloka linda (FUEL)

Christian babatunde noah (CBN)

Adewale ibrahim tejuoso (AIT)

David victor daniel (DVD)
Nice to meet you..

HER: Shift lemme fainted!!

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY KILL AN ANT

Mix powdered pepper and sugar & keep it outside the ant's hole for it to eat

After eating it, the ant will search for some water near a water tank... So wait when its near the water tank push it into the tank

But dont allow it to get drowned

Now the ant is wet.. He will go and dry himself near a fireplace

When it reaches the fireplace put a bomb into the fire...

[BOOOOM!]

The ant is now injured with 3rd degree burns

Rush the wounded ant to the hospital I.C.U

There the ant will be put on the ventilator and feel safe in the hospital

However at night sneak into the ants room and remove the oxygen mask from its mouth..

The ant will gasp for breath and finnally die

DONE & DUSTED

NO FBI WILL FIND OUT...

I can see u smilling like, comment and follow for more funny stories..

AM Still: @UniqueGee

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

Mouthology...

A Proffessor was travelling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor.

"Do you know.. Biology, ecology, zoology, geography, physiology?"

The sailor said no to all his question.

Preffessor: What the hell do you know on earth, you will die of illiteracy.

After a while the boat got hit by something and started to sink down.

The sailor asked the proffessor.

"Do you know swiminology and escapology from sharkology?"

The proffessor said "NO"

Sailor: Well, sharkology & crocodiology will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology..

I can see you smilling please like, comment and follow for more funny stories...

AM Still: @UniqueGee

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

Never Gonna use earphone...

I was in the restaurant yesterday when i suddenly realized i desperately need to pass a gas...

The music was really really loud, so i timed my gas with the beat of the music..

["BOOOM, PHEEWW, TOOOW, BAMM"]

After a couples of songs, i started to feel better.. So i finished my cofee

then i notice everyone is paused staring at me...

I was like "WHAT?"

Then i suddenly rememberd that i was listening to my i pod

(via my earphone)

I Can see you smilling.. Please like comment and follow for more funny stories...

AM Still: @UniqueGee

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

Two unemployed guys were talking.. One say

"I'm going to became a lion tamer"

The other replies "Thats crazy, you dont know nothing about lion taming"

"YES I DO"

"okay answer this ques.. When one of those lions comes at you roaring and bitting what you gonna do?"

"I Will take that big chair they all carry and stick it in his face till he backdown"

"Well what if the lion take the chair with his big paw claws and throw it out of the cage.. What u gonna do?"

"I will take the whip they carry and whip him till he backdown"

"What if the lion bite the whip with his big teeth into two.. What you gonna do?

"I will take the gun they carry and shot him"

"what if the gun doesnt work?"

"I will pick up some shit on the bottom of the cage and throw it in his eyes and run out"

"What if they ain't any shit in the bottom of the cage?"

You ain't thinking clear..If the lion throw the chair,bite the whip and my gun didnt work..Men they is gonna be a shit on the bottom of that cage u can bet on dat"

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

A Man absolutely hated his wife's cat so he decided to get rid of him
one day he took the cat in his car and drive him 20km blocks away from home and leaving him at the park

as the man drive home the cat was walking up his driveway back to the house which the man saw the cat in the house at surprised.

"HOW DID HE CAME BACK"

the next day he decided to drive the cat 40km blockway.
he but the beast out and headed home

again the cat followed his driveway.
there was the cat!!

He kept talking the cat further and further way and the cat would always beat him home.

"CHAII"

At last he decided to drive the cat a few miles away

[turn right, then left, past bridge, then right again,another right]

Until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there

Hours letter the man calls home to his wife

"Jen is the cat home?"

"Yes Why do you ask?" she answerd

[Urrgh!! Frustrated]

he answer "put the little bastard in the phone am lost and i need directions

#$T0R¥°_T!M£^

A bachelor who live at home with his mother and a pet cat went on a trip to europe...

before he left he told his bestfriend to inform him of any emergencies.

a few days after his departure his cat climbed up on the roof and fell off and was killed.
his friend immediately wired him with a message

"Your cat died"

in a few hour he was back home having cut short his trip in grief and anger at his friend.
whom he told "why didnt you break the news to me graually?"
"you know how close i was to my cat! You could've sent..

"YOU CAT CLIMBED UP ON THE ROOF TODAY" and the next day you could've written

"YOUR CAT FELL OFF THE ROOF" and let me down slowly that he died..!

After a quick memorial service, the bachelor left again to continue his trip.

A Few days letter he returned to his hotel and there was a message writting from his bestfriend, it read

"YOUR MOTHER CLIMBED UP ON THE ROOF TODAY"

I can see you smilling like, comment, and follow for more funny stories..

AM Still @UniqueGee

#$T0R¥°_T!M£

TITLE:Camping with junior

one night junior was really scared sleeping by himseft at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teacher's tent and asks

"Miss can i please sleep in your tent tonight am scared?"

His teacher replies "NO"
Junior moans and says.

"But my mummy lets me"

"OK Then just for tonight" replies the teacher..

junior jumps into bed with her and ask again

"Miss can i please play with your belly button with my finger?"

She again says "NO"

"But my mummy lets me" says junior again.

"Well i suppose its okay" replies the teacher

Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming

"THATS NOT MY BELLY BUTTON!!"

Replies junior

"It ain't my finger either"

i know you guys are laughing.. Follow up for more funny stories..

Am Still @UniqueGee

Hello guy's am finally back am kinda busy lately but whoa!! Been cool here to hangout with you guy"s..

#YOCLIQ

»»Feeling blessed..¤¤

Am really bored lets chat pls follow and DM

Am still #UniqueGee

Finally am back in the yocliq..

SIGH.. Sir @Tynash

am writting this post to sincerely apologise for my misbeviour's and accusation's i 've made in this site #YOCLIQ

I realized that my actions were wrong and unacceptable. Am sorry and i deeply regret any inconvenience or disruption they may have caused.

And you @Ololade am deeply sorry for what i said to you ealier hope u will forgive me

Sigh.. And am sorry to #everyone i wronged expecially #YOCLIQ

and i assure you that none of this would happen again

sincere:@UniqueGee

Hello am here its me

@UniqueGee

@precious001 i have chat @timileyin on 2go and he send me a messege to you about his account that you stole


@precious001 read the post below and revive his account as soon as possible

and stop posting nonsences about sir @tynash

i have done my work

@UniqueGee

This is our last chat with @timileyin yesterday on how to invite more friend on 2go

if you need the letest version of 2go dm me @UniqueGee or message @timileyin

and go to my jetbits channel #UNIQUEGEEGAMES To download it

if you already sign for 2go quicky drop your user name to add you or send a friend request to

@timileyin 2go user name silver9685
or
@UniqueGee 2go user name UniqueGee19

now